2025 is done! Where did the time go? It’s unsettling how quickly twelve months can pass. If you’ve been reflecting this week, as I have, there are probably things you’re genuinely proud of—reaching a weight-loss goal, completing a course, leveling up in your career, or maybe even experiencing the thrill of finding your soulmate (a big highlight for me).
You may have also noticed growth in quieter ways—becoming more disciplined, building greater consistency with your habits, or improving how efficiently you manage your time. No matter how big or small your accomplishments were this past year, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. They matter. They deserve to be recognized and celebrated.
Recognizing the Gap in 2026
As encouraging as it is to see progress, heading into 2026 I’m sure you’re desiring to make deeper, more important changes. Although everyone’s goals look different, we often pursue them in response to a deficit we feel inside—a gap between where we are now and where we want to be. You might feel it when you scroll through social media and see others seemingly “ahead” in areas you’ve been working on for years. Or you might feel it late at night, when things finally slow down and that lingering thought surfaces—I thought I’d be further along by now.That gap can feel even wider if you’ve been chasing the same goals for years. ( i’ll finally get the 6 pack this time)
When we focus on what feels missing, it begins to shape what we believe about ourselves. If you’ve struggled with health and fitness, you may quietly believe, “Discipline is something other people have, not me.” If you’ve experienced rejection in your career, you may start to believe, “My past defines my future.” If you’ve felt frustrated learning new skills or pursuing new passions, you may tell yourself, “If I were really meant for more, this wouldn’t be so hard.”
Making meaningful progress is incredibly difficult when these thought patterns become part of how we see ourselves.
Start from the Inside Out
So how can we make this new year different—and make our resolutions count for something? Let’s begin by examining how we approach our goals.
As James Clear explains in Atomic Habits, there are three layers of behavior change in every goal:
Outcomes – What you get
Processes – What you do
Identity – Who you believe you are
Each layer serves a purpose; none is better than the others. The problem isn’t the goal—it’s the direction of change. People hit roadblocks and experience habit frustration because they start at the wrong layer.
Most people begin with outcomes—losing 20 pounds or completing a certification—but outcomes alone are fragile. They don’t change daily behavior, and they rarely sustain progress once the goal is reached. Process-based change focuses on habits and systems, like exercising three times a week or studying for an hour each weeknight. While more effective, even these can collapse under stress if they feel forced.
The deepest and most lasting layer is identity. Identity shapes what feels natural—seeing yourself as someone who takes care of their body or as a life coach who values learning and growth. When small actions are repeated, they provide living proof that reinforces identity. Over time, this makes your New Year’s resolutions easier to sustain, because each behavior becomes a vote for the person you are becoming.
As you enter 2026, remember—it’s not just about crushing goals. It’s about aligning with who you already are.
Getting back on the Path
This is a special time of year. Set aside at least one hour this week to reflect on the type of person you want to be. What does your identity in 2026 look like to you?
Then write down two to three meaningful goals you would like to pursue over the next three to six months. For each goal, complete the three layers of behavior change exercise—starting with identity, then processes, and finally outcomes.
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