I was keeping my adorable one-year-old niece company last week when I noticed something that left me amazed. Over the past month, she’s become impressively consistent with her gestures and the formation of small words. It didn’t happen by accident. In that moment, I realized she was learning and modeling these gestures from watching Miss Rachel on TV.
Learning Through Repetition
She was developing a repeated habit of communicating what she wanted:
- Food
- Help
- Connection
- To be understood
My niece was demonstrating a pure, lived example of what makes habits successful. She had a raw, human desire—a craving—to have her needs met. She would respond with learned hand gestures to let us know when she wanted another bite of food, when she was pointing to a toy she wanted to play with to get our attention, or when she would start clapping as Miss Rachel sang Old MacDonald.
Why Habits Stick
Her habit didn’t form because:
- Someone told her she should do it
- She was motivated or disciplined
- She tracked it on a chart
It formed because:
- Her desire was clear in its most human form
- The response was easy and easily learned
- The outcome reinforced it—her need was met
From Cue to Desire & Action
In last week’s message, I introduced the first of the four stages of habit formation, drawing from James Clear’s bestseller Atomic Habits (if you missed it, the link to last week’s email is included at the end of this message).
After recognizing the cue—what signals your brain to begin a behavior—the next two stages are craving and response.
Adults often struggle with habits not because they lack a certain amount of will power or “motivation” but because
- the desire isn’t clear enough or
- The response feels heavy, awkward, or misaligned
Although our habits have obviously evolved from our baby primal human needs, the process how we fulfill them stays the same. We need a genuine desire and a response that feels easy and natural to act on.
Makes Habits Desirable
To turn up the desire/craving for a habit, I like to create small moments of enjoyment:
- Playing atmospheric progressive house music while preparing my weekly On the Path message opens my creative pathways.
- Incorporating a sauna after post-workout sessions adds anticipation to my fitness routine.
- *Only drink my favorite coffee while planning out my week.
Maybe for you, it’s:
- Listening to your favorite podcast while doing cardio
- Going to a café you enjoy with your laptop to work on ideas and build something meaningful
- We crave actions that confirm who we believe we are (or want to become). “I’m someone who keeps promises to myself” → daily checklist habit
Makes Habits Simple
To make my habit responses easy and natural to act on I:
- On days I plan to podcast, I plug in my microphone the night before.
- On cleaning days, I leave the vacuum in the hallway and cleaning supplies on the bathroom counter to reduce friction.
Maybe for you, it’s:
- Packing your gym bag and leaving it in your vehicle the day before a workout
- Opening your laptop directly to the course module you’re working through.
Remember: what you want—and how easy it is to act—shapes what you repeat.
Getting Back on the Path
This week, to build more consistency, try this:
1. Pair the habit with something you already enjoy.
Ask yourself what could make the habit more inviting—a favorite podcast, a comfortable space, or a small ritual you look forward to. When a habit feels appealing, you’re more likely to return to it.
2. Lower the starting point.
Reduce the number of steps between you and the habit. Open the document, lay out what you need, or commit to just a few minutes. When the response feels easy, momentum can build.
3. Choose one habit and one moment.
Anchor the habit to a specific time or part of your day instead of trying to fit it in “sometime.” Clarity reduces friction and makes follow-through feel more natural.
Consistency grows when desire is clear and the step forward feels light.
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