The dust has settled. The ornaments are packed away, the shortbread cookies are gone (mysteriously, the last few went missing), and I’ve had my fill of cheesy romantic seasonal movies. The holidays are over, and now it’s back to business for all of us.
More importantly, as we discussed in last week’s message, this New Year is about getting back into alignment with identity-based goals. Goal setting and vision boards are exciting. They sharpen our clarity, give us direction, and feel good to proudly share on social media. Having a grand vision for where you want to go—that’s the easy part. Following through with consistent actions and habits is where most of us struggle.
The Cycle We Know All to Well
We’ve all been there. Inspiration is in the air. The planner is filled, goals are written down, and we hype ourselves up repeating the mantra, “I’ve got this.” The first few weeks go well—but after a while, momentum starts to slow. Distractions creep in. We get unorganized and begin prioritizing the wrong things.
That excitement and enthusiasm you once had fades, and now shame takes its place. Let’s be real—this probably isn’t the first time this has happened. It’s a repeating cycle, and if you look closely, you can see the familiar patterns that lead to the same unfulfilled outcome.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
What if, instead of feeling shame for unmet goals, we became more aware of what contributed to them? If we want change that actually lasts, we can’t hide from what holds us back—we have to get in front of it.
Where We Get In Our Own Way
If we’re truly honest with ourselves, we already know what gets in our way. We see it in the moments we procrastinate—opening the laptop can wait while we watch one more episode of our favorite show. We feel it when fear and anxiety freeze us, stopping us from taking that first step outside our comfort zone to press the record button. It shows up when we hit the snooze button instead of going to the gym.
These small moments add up—and they quietly pull us away from the results we say we want.
Anticipation Is The Advantage
Now that we know some of the common blocks that self-sabotage our progress, what does it actually look like to get in front of them?
It starts with self-awareness. Recognize the recurring patterns and themes that derail your progress, and how often they show up. This might look like getting carried away with social media, feeling restless or bored when the excitement drops off with a habit, or procrastinating when pleasure feels more appealing than discipline.
You might notice you procrastinate most on days when you’re low on sleep. Or when you step outside your comfort zone, a fixed mindset kicks in and says, “I’m not confident I can do this,” which often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For each block you face, decide on one specific action you can take to counter it. Determine in advance how you’ll get in front of it.
- Put your phone on airplane mode and place it in a drawer so your attention stays on your growth.
- Recite an affirmation when resistance or boredom hits, like: “The work I’m putting in matters, and my future self will thank me.”
- Delay distractions—like starting a new episode—until after you’ve completed a priority task, such as planning your week.
Getting Back on the Path
This week, let’s expose the blocks that hold us back by getting in front of them.
Identify and reflect on two to three common self-sabotage patterns you wrestle with. Pay attention to when they tend to show up and what factors contribute to their presence.
For example, you might notice that you procrastinate when starting something important, especially when it feels overwhelming or unclear. Or maybe you tend to doubt yourself right before taking a meaningful step, causing you to hesitate or hold back.
For each block, prepare in advance and commit to one specific action you’ll take in the moment to get in front of it—and overcome it.
For example, if you catch yourself procrastinating, commit to working on the task for just five focused minutes to build momentum. If self-doubt shows up, choose to take the next small step anyway, even if you don’t feel fully ready.
Because every time you choose to get in front of what holds you back, you step more fully into the person you’re meant to become.
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